Gathering

My thoughts are really scattered sometimes.

My poor husband. Seriously. This guy never knows if I just want to chat about the day's weather, or if I'm going to unload massive deep thoughts on him out of the clear blue. Glad I'm not him. :)

I have so much on my heart these days. So many questions, inklings, frustrations, desires, longings, passions, concerns. I have several different soap boxes. I'm understanding more about myself, who I am...who I pray I get the time to become. I am comfortable in my own skin, growing confident in my role as a wife, Mama, and daughter of The King.

I am realistic. I am terribly flawed. I am passionately driven. I love my God with an unquenchable fire. I am grateful for the love and friendship of my husband. I am stretched physically, mentally and spiritually by my three daughters and one son. I care about how our days/time/money/energies are spent.

Sometimes it's laundry...other times it's matters of the heart...but I am always in the midst. Always in the middle of something. Surrounded by, swallowed up in something.

At times it's a simple task. Chores, cleaning, organizing...the daily to-do's this life brings. They are inevitable and unescapable. I am in the midst of them. I want to do them well, to handle them with grace and care.

At times it's a hurdle. Pain, hurt, disappointment, struggles...I cannot avoid this. I am daily forced to wade through the midst of these. I cling to my life preserver in the flood, my hope in Christ, so I might make it through alive.

There are times of joy, celebration, worship, accomplishment...when my heart feels light and the world feels like a gentle place. I soak up my time in the midst of these good, God-given gifts. A little bit of Heaven on earth.

There are times of calm, content, rest. In the midst of this I sigh, breathe deep and uncurl my tightened grip on my life.

Wherever I am...I am always in the midst...the middle, in between, surrounded. And wherever I am, He is always in the midst of it all too. When what I am surrounded by feels like it's pressing in on all sides I  find comfort in His presence. He is always in the midst. And I am thankful.

I hope my journey brings encouragement. You are not alone. We are more alike than different and there is nothing new under the sun.

May my words be seasoned with grace in the midst of it all.