Stac-ca-to

I live in the land of interruptions.

Four children age 6 (and a very important "3/4") and under = chaos never a dull moment. Someone always needs me. Right when I'm helping somebody else/preparing a meal/changing a diaper/picking up toys/folding laundry/using the restroom. Every. Time.

My life is staccato.

Stac-ca-to: "composed of or characterized by abruptly disconnected elements; disjointed..."

When I am in the midst of one thing...something/someone else demands my attention. Get started on (fill in the blank) and then (fill in the blank) forces me to redirect. Causes me to stop what I was doing and give attention elsewhere.

I rarely handle this with ease. My exterior may be calm, but my insides are raging "Ugh! Really? Why now?!". I just want everything to go how-I-want-it-to-go-when-I-want-it-to-go. Surely that's not asking too much.

And it's not just kids that are the source of these interruptions, you know. It's life. Just day to day life that can make me have to switch gears at the drop of a hat. All those things I can find myself in the midst of...well, they have an uncanny way of changing up on me quickly sometimes. 

Perhaps it's my vision that is the real problem here. Perhaps the staccato is more beautiful than I realize.





Perhaps what I see as an interruption is really a pause. 

Pause: "a temporary stop or rest, especially in speech or action..."

I get so easily wound up in myself...my lists, my tasks, my children, my house...it's all about M-E. 

Perhaps these pauses are not the intruding interruptions as my self-absorbed vision sees them. Perhaps they are wonderful gifts. Perhaps they are meant to draw me back to The One Who Loves Me. 

When I am in the middle of the "piranha hours" (4-6pm), trying to make dinner and keep the kids from squabbling there are frequent interruptions pauses. Getting Phoebe a drink. Watching Shiloh dance in the living room. Helping Deacon with a toy. Nursing Mercie. With each new interruption pause, it seems that I might never get done what I need to do. 

Choosing to see these moments as a pause frees me up from the burden of irritation. Frees me from feeling anxious.

A pause is brief. A pause is necessary.

I need to be constantly drawn back close to My Lord. What a precious gift these moments of pausing from my busyness can be! To say a prayer, to hum a praise, to remember that He is in all things, to rest from my hurried pace for one sweet moment at a time.

Yesterday morning there were a lot of pauses. It was a truly staccato start to our day. I pulled out of the driveway 25 minutes later than we should have to take Shiloh to school. At the end of our street this greeted me...because God is a master teacher, and always finds a way to make His point perfectly clear.

These trucks were collecting piles of branches that our neighbors (lovely people, by the way) had cut down. The truck on the left was grabbing the branches with a large claw, swinging them through the air and dropping them in the back of the truck on the right. They were in no hurry at all...as they completely blocked the road and our only way to exit the cul-de-sac.

My kids were in awe at the big trucks. They ooohed and aaahed as the massive claw grabbed tree limbs. They loved every minute of it. All five minutes of it, to be precise. 

My first reaction to this scenario was frustration; we were already late for crying out loud. But my heart quickly softened as I heard my children's sheer enjoyment. 

This pause was exactly what I needed in the midst of my hurried morning.

My impatience melted as we paused (quite literally this time) in the middle of the street. My children and I watched the trucks and had a chat about teamwork...amazed at the way these large trucks and half dozen men were working together. The claw truck (I have no idea what it's really called, please forgive me) was strong and specially skilled to grab the piles of branches...but this truck had nowhere to put what it had picked up. It needed the help of the big dumpster truck to complete the task of cleaning up. The dumpster truck (I know, you're super impressed with my wording) had a huge bed with plenty of room to hold the branches...but it had no way to pick up the load. It needed the help of the other truck. {Cue the "Wonder Pets" theme song..."What's going to work? Teamwork!"}

When the trucks finished their work and slowly drove on down the road we were finally freed to continue on our way. We were delayed by this pause, but what a gift it was. We all sweetened up a bit in those moments. 

How many opportunities have I missed simply because I refused to be paused by my Father? How many joy-filled, wonder-full moments have I let slip away because I was too busy with my "stuff" to look up and see what God was showing me?

 I want my family, my friends, complete strangers to know that they are more important than my day's to-do list. I want my Lord to know that I have eyes wide open for His hand in my life. That I am ready and willing to pause and redirect for His glory.

Whatever form they come in, I want to accept with grace the staccato moments, the pauses that undoubtedly will come into my midst. May you too find peace in the midst of your interruptions today...and may you see them as beautiful pauses, gifts from a loving Father.

Gathering

My thoughts are really scattered sometimes.

My poor husband. Seriously. This guy never knows if I just want to chat about the day's weather, or if I'm going to unload massive deep thoughts on him out of the clear blue. Glad I'm not him. :)

I have so much on my heart these days. So many questions, inklings, frustrations, desires, longings, passions, concerns. I have several different soap boxes. I'm understanding more about myself, who I am...who I pray I get the time to become. I am comfortable in my own skin, growing confident in my role as a wife, Mama, and daughter of The King.

I am realistic. I am terribly flawed. I am passionately driven. I love my God with an unquenchable fire. I am grateful for the love and friendship of my husband. I am stretched physically, mentally and spiritually by my three daughters and one son. I care about how our days/time/money/energies are spent.

Sometimes it's laundry...other times it's matters of the heart...but I am always in the midst. Always in the middle of something. Surrounded by, swallowed up in something.

At times it's a simple task. Chores, cleaning, organizing...the daily to-do's this life brings. They are inevitable and unescapable. I am in the midst of them. I want to do them well, to handle them with grace and care.

At times it's a hurdle. Pain, hurt, disappointment, struggles...I cannot avoid this. I am daily forced to wade through the midst of these. I cling to my life preserver in the flood, my hope in Christ, so I might make it through alive.

There are times of joy, celebration, worship, accomplishment...when my heart feels light and the world feels like a gentle place. I soak up my time in the midst of these good, God-given gifts. A little bit of Heaven on earth.

There are times of calm, content, rest. In the midst of this I sigh, breathe deep and uncurl my tightened grip on my life.

Wherever I am...I am always in the midst...the middle, in between, surrounded. And wherever I am, He is always in the midst of it all too. When what I am surrounded by feels like it's pressing in on all sides I  find comfort in His presence. He is always in the midst. And I am thankful.

I hope my journey brings encouragement. You are not alone. We are more alike than different and there is nothing new under the sun.

May my words be seasoned with grace in the midst of it all.